Every January my husband’s company has his awards banquet. This week my Facebook feed was reminding me of pictures from the past year’s event. It was a reminder of my starting point and took me through the years of my transformation. I’ve had so many people that haven’t seen me in a long time tell me that they didn’t recognize me and I couldn’t understand it. Pictures are revealing, and while I’ve seen many before pictures of progress, there was something so very raw and emotional about this time. Pictured below is 2015, 2016, 2017 & 2018.
Here is a glimpse of my journey:
I got sober on July 15, 2013, and the next several years were a rollercoaster of highs and lows. I began emotional eating. Especially sugar. Too much sugar. I was always so tired. I used the excuse of “since I’m not drinking, I’m going to indulge in this”. Sobriety became my excuse to indulge. This was making me miserable. I finally realized that just like alcohol wasn’t solving my problems, food wasn’t either.
When I joined Weight Watchers, I dove right in and never looked back. For the first time, I no longer had the “all or nothing” mentality. I learned about moderation and balance. My commitment to my newfound nutrition and fitness has been rewarding. I feel balanced in my recovery and self care.
That being said, I do have periods of struggling with my body image, like right now. I feel fat. I fear the scale. I’ve had to cut back on my activity level due to knee pain. It scares me and I’m uncomfortable with it. Walking and working out is therapeutic. It’s a release for my anxiety. So, I have to remind myself of how far I’ve come. I have to fight the voices in my head trying to bring me down when I’m feeling insecure. I’ve overcome so much. I’ve learned to listen and respond to my body (rest when knee or other pain occurs), reach out to my support system for guidance in times of need.
I’ve also learned to be aware when I get a bit obsessive. One example is my Fitbit. I LOVE my Fitbit. BUT, I can get too consumed and fixated on my steps and activity to the point of being restless until reaching a specific goal. It’s definitely a love-hate relationship at times!!! To help me find balance, I no longer wear my Fitbit on Sunday’s. It can be difficult, but it’s a healthy practice that I’m getting used to. On a positive note, my Fitbit has brought out a competitive edge that I never knew existed within me. I enjoy participating in the Fitbit challenges that I’m invited to, and also the challenges of the StepBet games. I’ve participated and won 7 to date. If your unfamiliar with it, it’s a fun & challenging fitness game that motivates you to be more active, while competing with yourself and others in a supportive setting. While everyone has a different step goal, everyone has the same goal of becoming more active. I’m hoping to have my own game one day, and will let you know if and when that happens. Check out the link below to learn more.
I’ve put in blood, sweat and tears in both my sobriety and weight loss journey. No one can take that away from me. My determination and commitment to my sobriety & health has been possible with the unconditional love and support from my family and friends that have stood by my side since day 1, and remain there today. My journey continues as I practice awareness, balance & moderation, and remain open to ways to better my life.
Imagine with all your mind~Believe with all your heart~Achieve with all your might