On May 21, 1993, I called my husband’s aunt during a blackout reaching out for help. She ran a recovery center at the time. God was truly doing for me what I could not do for myself – making that first call. Usually after a blackout, bits and pieces come back to me until the picture is complete. However, the night of May 21 was never fully recovered. The phone call brought me to the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. I remember being truly concerned that I would not be able to drink champagne at my daughter’s wedding. My daughter was only 18 months old!!! If your alcoholic, you understand.
I remained sober for 17 years, relapsed for 3 years and I currently have over 4 ½ years of sobriety. And guess what happened during my sobriety? Not only did I celebrate both of my children’s college graduation, my daughter got married last month. And… I did it all sober!!! The worry and concern over not drinking at my daughter’s wedding in 1993, proved to be wasted energy. From planning the engagement through the wedding day, I had no desire to drink. But, I’ve also put in A LOT of hard work in to my sobriety and have regained trust with my family. It would be insanity to throw it away for the most important day of my daughter’s life.
There are parts of the wedding day that I do not recall. There are pictures that I do not remember taking. But contrary to an alcoholic blackout, I simply do not remember due to the whirlwind of emotions. The day was filled with family, love, joy and laughter. And I was there to fully participate, to be present.
With the celebrations behind us, my son settling into his new career in another state and my daughter now married with her own family, my husband and I start a new chapter – empty nesters (that’ll be a good future topic to post about!!!). In the meantime, I need to keep my sobriety my priority because the reality is that I’m an alcoholic – I may have another drunk left in me, but I’m not guaranteed another recovery.
Imagine with all your mind ~ Believe with all your heart ~ Achieve with all your might