On this thankful Thursday, I find myself reflecting on my gratitude for my sobriety. Thanks to sobriety, I am now present for my family and loved ones. I am reliable. I’ve grown with the changes. I am being true to myself.
I am approaching my 7-year sobriety date. Many in recovery will tell you that emotions are fragile as the date approaches. I echo that.
I recently returned from a lovely family vacation at the beach. This is a special place for my family, having gone there for nearly 10 years and making lifetime memories there. However…. this trip I found myself hypersensitive as my memory took me back to my downward spiral which lasted 6 weeks before safely landing on my feet into the doors of AA.
While relaxing poolside in the tranquil setting, I recall a time where there was an urgency to secure the chairs by the bar. I recall being restless as waiting for the bar/food service to open. I recall anxiously placing my order in anticipation of that first drink. AND that fried food. I recall, in total embarrassment, my doctor also vacationing there witnessing my consumption. How did I drink from morning til night in the bright Florida sun? It wasn’t youth. It was addiction. That’s how.
I’ve forgiven myself. My loved ones have forgiven me. But… sometimes the pain feels so fresh when a memory is triggered. Its raw and feels like the bandaid is being ripped off. Exposed. All. Over. Again. BUT… the pain & shame is short lived and quickly followed with gratitude that I’m no longer that person.
I am especially grateful after being reminded just how toxic alcohol has the capability to be. During this trip, I witnessed immoral behavior of a husband and wife with an explosion of emotions for everyone within eye and earshot to see. Unfortunately that included their child. The intoxicated lady and her family were escorted back to their room. The following day the child was overheard telling someone that her Mom needed to get drunk to fall asleep. The mother corrected her saying she “just needed a drink” to relax before falling asleep. What a sad situation. I pray the lady gets help for the sake of her child and gets the hell out of that marriage.
I pray for the still suffering alcoholic out there. I pray that they realize that they don’t have to live like that anymore. There is a solution and a happy, joyous & free life IS possible.
Imagine with all your mind ~ Believe with all your heart ~ Achieve with all your might
Life With Lisa 💕